Men’s Mental Health | Therapy for Men | Depression and Anger
In the world of men’s mental health, one of the biggest obstacles is getting started. For many men, reaching out for help can feel like admitting weakness. But it’s not weakness—it’s the result of cultural messages that say, “You should already have it figured out.”
Why don’t men seek help sooner?
It’s often harder for men to talk about emotions. A lot of men are doers—they want to get things done. They want to solve problems and take care of the people around them. And when someone suggests they go to therapy, it’s a little like the old road trip story: a man’s driving in circles and someone says, “Why don’t you ask for directions?” The instinct is to say, “I’m fine. I know where I’m going.”
Getting help for mental health can feel the same way—like something they should just be able to figure out on their own. But what’s really going on underneath is often uncertainty: wondering what therapy is actually like, what they’ll be expected to say, and whether the therapist will understand them.
What men bring into therapy
Once a man actually makes it into therapy, what shows up is strength. Most men want structure. They want practical strategies, goal-setting, and clear signs of progress. They want to make peace with people around them—whether it’s family, coworkers, or friends. And when they feel safe enough to share, it’s often the first time they’re opening up about things they’ve been carrying for years.
Hidden struggles: anger and overworking
There are two patterns that often go unnoticed in men: anger and workaholism. A man who seems to “just have a temper” might actually be carrying a heavy emotional load. Maybe he’s unhappy with how life is going, or maybe he doesn’t even know why he’s angry—but it spills out when things don’t go according to plan.
Another overlooked sign is working too much. For some men, work is the only area where they feel in control. But beneath that drive might be a kind of goal-directed isolation—using work as a place to succeed when other parts of life feel confusing or overwhelming.
What therapy looks like—for men
When I work with men, I understand the skepticism that can come with starting therapy. My first goal is to validate who you are—not to criticize or correct, but to recognize that what you’re dealing with is genuinely difficult. Many men respond well to this kind of approach. They begin to feel safe and, over time, they open up.
When that trust is built, many men start to share stories from their past—experiences that have shaped how they see the world and how they relate to the people in their lives. When they feel that they can speak honestly without being judged, real progress starts to happen.
Just trying is good
If you know something isn’t right—but keep talking yourself out of therapy—I want to encourage you that just trying is good. Therapy doesn’t have to be another problem to solve on your own. Yes, being open can be uncomfortable. But the worst that can happen? It’s not a good fit, and you either try someone else or take a break.
But here’s what I’ve seen over and over: even before that first session, many men feel a sense of relief simply from taking the step to schedule. Doing something is better than feeling stuck. That one step can make all the difference.
